yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
I've decided to sign up for a porn membership, but it's 10:30 and I'm going to wait an hour an a half because I don't want to waste a whole day of my month long membership. Fuck this economy.
We did like every position then did it again this morning. Something about him being the little boy i used to make sand castles with just made it way hotter.
well done
i'm so high that my cigarette just tasted like chef boyardee. no lie.
This house was built for laser tag.
You brought back some girl with you at 3am and introduced her to everyone as "hot pocket"
Who's nuvaring is under my pillow?
do we own a ladder
We do not.
then how am i on the roof
I can't wait for the day Google doesn't remind me that I got arrested for having 3 shots called 'frog cum' lined up in front of me.
This is home. And home is where you find your family. And you try not to make out with your family.
I mean it's like...I'm sorry I slept with your boyfriend but is it my fault that he failed to mention you when I was giving him head in the Dave and Busters bathroom?
There is so much wrong with that sentence
Yeah there really shouldn't be a bar at D&B's...shit gets real
I'm just saying, I walked in on you blowing a burrito. I now understand how obsessed you are with Taco Bell. And how long it's been since you've got some.
shut up and let me use my vagina as a weapon of self destruction in peace!
Yep, you're going to hell.
I take on this great possibility with a beer in one hand and the girl I'm gonna fuck later in the other
i thought the time we went to a party with no shoes on was bad, how about the time you left with no pants on?
Randomize
