Bea Arthur died yesterday
You shut your stupid mouth
Betty White is next, I just know it.
Betty White will never die! She's like Dick Clark. Rue McCalahan is next.
No, I can't hang out with Dave because he already has a girlfriend. The one with the tatoos of cherries on her "cherry." Yeah, she doesn't really make me feel spectacularly comfortable.
this girl and her friend just showed up at my house. standing together, theylook exactly like the number 10. this has cockblock written alllllll over it.
I'm driving behind a lime green VW that has "Seniors '10!" shoe polished on the rear window. i haven't even seen her yet, but I do have a boner.
This is the third time that ive slept with him. He bought me more milk. I can feel the romance growing.
Um of course I blew him. He brought me a shamrock shake. It was two o’clock in the morning on St. Patrick’s Day. There was no smoother move basically. He totally earned that head.
If we don't rescue him from the fat chick soon, she is going to eat him alive and suck the marrow from his bones.
Well, I have a text in my phone that just says "Scrumtrelescent" from a girl I have in here as "Cheesy Tits", so you figure out how my night was going.
At what point did you realize I was getting blown under the table during our dominos game?
There's that certain point at night when you start saying things like s'mores should be used in foreign relations. I reached it.
It's 10:15 on a Wednesday night and my dick is covered in pop rocks. How's your Wednesday going?
You kept whispering to me that the guy making your burrito was an angel.
Is it too far to say to someone "you're useless for everything besides sex"
There are condoms rolled onto each bunny ear of the ears I was wearing last night
Road head absolutely translates. That's the beauty of road head... It's so portable!
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