kristin has been a bad kristin
Too bad my thesis topic isn't "defining a hot mess: a study in drinking, smoking and other bad life decisions."
we just plugged the camera up to the big screen. would you like to come see what you did last night, in high definition?
the easter KEGG...out of a drunken typo there arose a new and spectacular holiday tradition
Don't byou dare ruin egg salad by putting your penis in it that would be so sad.
I'll come out for a little. I can't be visibly hungover at work again or I get written up and fired. And yes, I am aware of how alcoholic that sounds.
Just bought a breathalyzer and Sharpies, guess who thought of a new drinking game
She was grinding on him and then she was eating a Big Mac. Who the hell brings a Big Mac to the club?
He's sweet and rough. A wonderful contradiction. He's the starburst of sex.
I don't go out. I live in my room watching Bridget Jones and thanking my vibrator for existing.
drying my bra with a hair dryer wasn't exactly how I had planned on starting my day.
Its 11am and I'm eating gummi bears and drinking Tennessee honey in my underwear...this is why I'm self employed
We were right in the middle of sex and all of a sudden his kids toy story action figure starts talking "I think the word your searching for is Space Ranger." A literal Buzz kill. It was equally creepy and hilarious.
I think I've done enough damage with my vagina as of late, thank you
he's really high and upset. he just found out alice from the brady bunch died
Randomize
