the last time I saw her she was leaving the mens bathroom and club rush with her dress inside out. typical tease.
His stupid grin looks like he's mid-ejaculation
me and this guy in my office just exchanged an "i saw you at a drag show last night" look as he passed by my desk.
we made malted milkshakes. malt as in malt liqour.
I need to sleep with 3 more guys by midnight to meet my 2010 resolution..
I don't go on dates. I watch tv and play with dicks. dinner is a situation.
To be so small, the mini-horses are exceptionally aggressive. And fast. Very, very fast.
Abort! Abort! He almost bit off a finger!
Well for starters, her tits were hairy.
He just told me what he wants for his birthday. "a noise complaint" he also said he wants to be the cause of all the noise but he won't be the one making the noise.
I WOULD NEVER LIE ABOUT SOMETHING AS SERIOUS AS SABADO GIGANTE BEING CANCELED
NO I WILL NOT SET YOU UP WITH MY TWIN WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU?!? JUST BECAUSE I WONT BLOW YOU DOESNT MEAN YOU CAN STALK HER AS A BACKUP PLAN YOU SPANISH BASTARD
I just masterbated to the Lets Get Ready To Rumble theme
It's Valentine's Day, I figure for sure we'll have sex today, right? Wrong. I tried unsuccessfully for like an hour to get him to fuck me. Now he's asleep and I'm on my way to join the public library.
Do you think it would be weird to add her on Facebook?
You just commited a felony act together, I honestly think we're beyond this.
I just got a text from a stranger offering to shave my asshole. I've been sober and out of town for a week, are you using my number as a dial-a-dumping again?
Randomize
