Obv we're gonna bbm each other in bed
Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
i have accomplished my summer goal of being able to relate to every taylor swift song
Then you jumped off your bed with your arms outstretched, yelled "I'm Goliath, watch out New York!" and then began singing the Gargoyles theme song as you 'soared' around your room.
Don't be ridiculous, the Gargoyles theme song has no words. How could I sing that mess?
You just started going "da da da da da! da da da da da! DA DA!!" then going "swoosh" as you glided about.
Should you consider yourself out of control when everyone at the party is cheering you on while you're puking, and on the last heave you act like you're rolling dice right before the finale???
They better compete for your attention. Dual to the fuck
The girls at the police department photocopied my drinking ticket and told me to frame it and hang it on my wall. Then they gave me a free muffin and told me to party smarter next time.
Sexting across continents is really a perfect example of how far technology has come.
I love how four vibrators are within reach of me right now, but not a single hair brush or comb
you missed 2am bagpipes and my roommate looking hot as fuck in a kilt
Sarah is throwing up still and I'm eating salad with my fingers
Are cops allowed to hit on you if they're in uniform?! Serious question.
I really have to stop going to the movies high. Spending $10 to not know what the fuck is going on is starting to get pricey.
I yelled at the cab driver to slow down because my unborn children live here, and pointed to my uterus. I think my message was lost in translation though because he immediately offered me his card...
All I've done today is nap, eat candy and get off from my vibrator. I didn't know it was possible to be THIS single.
Randomize
