i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
I just masturbated mid-day, thinking of you
I think that is one of the most romantic things I have ever heard from a fuck buddy on v-day, there is a strong possibility that you will soon be my girlfriend.
I know I am usually the slut but tonight it's her. She is being a slut, yes slut, T as in Tomorrow, U as in Uterus, L as in Llama and S as in Sangria. That spells slut, but backwards and that's what she is being.
I ended up naked in a pond with you-know-who and your saying your a good babysitter? Dick.
Seriously? He's going to use MY birthday sex as the opportunity to ask if he can pee on me?!? I let him, but wow talk about selfish.
I usually just read books and meditate to an aquatic soundtrack of sea walrus's mating. But ill choose coors light instead
where are you?
talk to ya later, gotta sled down these stairs real quick
Yeah man i woke up and only had a Jimmy John's wrapper covering myself..
The drunk mom in a firefighter hat just told her to leave.
C'mon. I'm still an alcoholic at heart, regardless of its broken or not
I told her I was dressed as a gag reflex judge.....she won, literally hands down.
I learned a very valuable lesson tonight...don't touch a cops tazer
I woke up completely naked with the exception of my leg warmers. Last night must have been interesting.
And now you know why we call him Three-Balls Brad
I told him I thought I was pregnant and he told me he accidentally killed my bird.
Circle of life.
Randomize
