Just cleaned up my puke with my lecture notes.
She told me to "stuff her hole like a build-a-bear". I was so drunk I didn't even think that was weird.
Just TALKING to him is better than banging my bf, imagine what actual banging will be like.
at least he left the skimmer on the side of the pool so i could fish out my thong in the morning
i cant cry in cvs. not again.
He said he wouldn't use a condom because he didn't want to kill anymore trees.
There's nothing like sitting directly behind someone you fucked 5 years ago at church on Easter Sunday
It's either gonna be a cock in my mouth or a burger. You decide which.
And I wasn't prepared because its been a very long and lonely season and I wasn't expecting to find dick at Press Box trivia night....
I'm just waiting for the avalanche of beef.
Do u remember giving me permission to fuck ur dad and then getting super pissed at me when i said ew?
I'm serious. I have boob tassles if this is an exchange thing.
I need vodka mixed w a bit of holy water right now
Yes dating, but it seems easier to just live in a perpetual state of Netflix, internet porn, and cheese.
Want to have dinner and we can talk about how my vagina can make you feel better?
Randomize
