He was telling me how the song fireflies makes him feel like he can talk to animals
Going to get yelled at but I labeled the reel "four dried up sluts decide going to the middle east to shop during a war is the best idea ever"
Youre at medical school. Im eating raw cookie dough, pickles, and orange juice. Naked. On a monday afternoon. I clearly make better life choices than you.
Too long to explain. Basically I started an electircal fire. No one was hurt except for a box of cereal near the outlet.
She is definitely tripolar. Like bipolar but better/worse.
Next guy we share better have a little more dignity than that
Succesfully slept on the roof at work for 3.5 hours without getting caught. I need a promotion
Hm, finding a time when my drinking and your real life don't conflict could be difficult
private study room at the lib turned into byob study room. that turned into battle royale and eric impaling his leg on a pen.
Every time I drink before 5 somebody's pet dies
Stop drinking before 5
Easier said than done
After you threw up you would repeatedly say "napkin" like a siren until somebody got you a fucking napkin.
Yess he was literally so drunk that like at one point I'm pretty sure he thought it was hard and in when neither were true :/ haha
Will u make me a "6 month anniversary of being single" cake??? I wanna celebrate
When I type "sleep" my phone suggests "with Trevor". My phones an asshole.
I hope every time you eat hashbrowns you think about me, the awesome sex we had and how great we could have been.
Randomize
