She was so drunk yelling at me in my driveway to fuck her. It was the ghetto version of Romeo and Juliet.
she was giving me head and that cheryl crow 'youre favorite mistake' song came on. she looks up and all i could do was nod
There are GROWN MEN with fake HP wands flinging curses at me in Walmart.
That's funny. Are they weird looking???
OF COURSE THEY ARE WEIRD LOOKING, THEY ARE STALKING ME IN WALMART. WITH. FAKE. WANDS.
i dont know everytime i see her teeth i get erectile disfunction
My grandma had to be escorted out by police.
Just woke up bloody and clutching a rear view mirror I'm pretty sure is from my car. For those of you keeping score at home this is why I stopped drinking four loko.
I was mixing candy canes and coors light and was in a great place.
The drag queen we did coke with is going to be on Ru Paul's drag race. I feel so proud.
She asked if i could guess "what shape her carpet was". I got it wrong (christmas tree).
You both ran and jumped into the tub yelling Jamaican bobsled team
You poured your drink on him and called him a "useless cocksucker" because he wouldn't give you a ride home... on his skateboard
Then he kissed my hand sensually and said "you're a Black Queen. Don't let anyone tell you different."
Seeking encouragement from my tinder matches to ace this test. I've sunk to a newest low.
Nothing like casual arson to brighten your day
right after that u started calling me g-force and started trying to bellyslide down his drive way
Randomize
