david just texted me. reply with photo of genitalia? y/n
There are the 2 BIGGEST tools by me-- at our table. I hate them. But they're not ugly and I may make out with them later. And hate myself. Definitely hate myself.
then the nurse gave me a bag with my personal belongings: phone, wallet. jacket, keys and a BTB burrito
It's gotten to the point where NOT peeing in the sink feels strange and uncomfortable.
did that guy on the oscars really just tell me to text a dolphin?
i don't want you to think of me as your TA
You hooked up with 4 random girls, avoided your grilfriend finding out about it, and dodged traffic on Park Ave. Can you say luck of the Irish?
please come over and have sex with me so we can talk about prom and kill 2 birds with one condom
do you know how much drugs we can buy now that you got that raise at work
Dad says your scarf isnt fooling anyone and u look like a douchebag, its literally the perfect time to tell him your gay
I can't wet the bed. That was the old me. I'm grown
Oh my god
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
So im waiting for someone at grand central and i look up AND THE ENTIRE BALCONY IS FILLED WITH BOY SCOUTS I AM TERRIFIED
the amount of 23-year-old guys who have seen me naked is starting to get a little worrying
Let's be real. I'm the Usain Bolt of running away after hookups. Fastest (wo)man alive.
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