"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
The best revenge is premature balding
I told you not to have sex with her on my futon
I didnt dude, i swear!
either that or you were eating mayo, which was the second thing i told you not to do on my futon
I had to have the lights off to hide my face. I was laughing so hard I almost peed in her mouth
Hahhaha I literally just rolled outta bed and went to get beer in my pj's and slippers. God I love graduating
He was going down on me as I discovered a spaghetti-O on my boob. Its been a while since I faked it.
I'm gonna win the lottery and buy chinchillas and tattoos for everyone
Smoked a joint with my old camp counselor and now we're going to a strip club. There is a god.
Or maybe I'll just keep introducing myself like, hello, they call me iane because I need the D. Applications are submitted online, women need not apply.
he just cleaned his wound with pinnacle whipped
I don't mean to crush your hopes and dreams but having sex IN the Stanley Cup isn't possible
I'm glad you enjoyed the night but why were you calling me "daddy"?
We're currently sharing pics of our cats. I can't wait to sit on her face.
For a girl who cried from fear the last time she was asked out, this. Is. TERRIFYING!
You have cats and a ten year IUD. Embrace it.
Randomize