theres a boy scout troop on my plane. right now theyre playing wilderness games. let me just tell you how excited i am to hit on all of them
quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
you know that dress I got margarita and puke on? yeah, just returned it.
i've decided that sluts are like cars. they may look good as hell on the outside, but you never know what kind of shit is hiding under the hood.
We need to talk about our relationship.
I just won a bet involving 10 tequila shots. You've got about 3 minutes
the trick is not to think about where her tounge has been.
How do you not remember seeing the kid from our chem lab table and repeatedly yelling "lab partners for life!" at him?
I just bought the ATT family protection plan so that I could block all of my old bar hookups from booty calling me...
we're going to drop off one of our cars at the police station tonight so we'll be able to drive home in the morning
I just found the gloves and lightbulb I stole. Did you pee on a ATM inside a bank?
I met a bunch of Germans and said in german "this is for the fatherland" and poured a beer on my head
Packing a mid day bowl in the Sonic parking lot. Have I gone too stoner?
In that case, if you come anywhere near my house you can expect to be chased down various streets by a half naked me wielding a baseball bat. No, I am not giving you my address.
Why so serious bruh
It's simple. He fucks me at his place and I fuck him at my place. It's like man of the house gets to top.
I'll take "things you shouldn't say to a guy you just met in a bar" for 100!
Randomize
