Remember that time I came into your room after taking a muscle relaxant and we argued about what state has the longest coastline?
Just woke up naked in my storage cubby and some one rearragned my whole room?
no jk, not my room
god is playing jersey shore on new years on purpose. he wants me to play drinking games and die. i wish he knew how serious this is.
we're doing beer bongs from the windmill...epic
It feels wrong to have dick mouth at a family dinner.
I just watched a girl in the library pull a vodka bottle out of her bag. I think I'm going to give her my number.
We convinced you to take a shot out of the sponge...there were still suds in it.
Once he blows his load, he's more of an immediate flight risk than that jetBlue pilot. He's out the door before his cum is out of my vajayjay.
Would you be mad if I just used the argument "I'm allowed to say that, my best friend is a lesbian"?
Never. I'm proud to help you win arguments.
Hmmm. I never knew the difference. I've done either one and had stronger or weaker versions but usually if i took enough, i tripped balls. That should be a PSA for kids... if you take drugs and the drugs are weak, just take more drugs... The More You Know
I just looked at your pics on Facebook....there was cake? Where the fuck was I!?
Its was awkward last year cuz in the middle of it her mom bust In the room with noise makers and champagne
Have I showed you the picture of my vagina with a little bang flag coming out of it?
He took a picture of me to show his boss why he was late...Is that a compliment or not?
I just got out of a $280 speeding ticket by acting like The Big Lebowski. Seriously Jeff Bridges is the man.
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