You dropped me off at the wrong girl's house.
There's no such thing as a "wrong girl" make it happen.
alright see you in the morning.
in the car goin home for fam dinner and he is silent... i think he realized how big of a whore his little sister is
he was so drunk he doesn't remember anything. I have to break up with him all over again
I just threw up and a whole piece of spaghetti came out of my nose. I don't even remember eating spaghetti.
dude. how can brian from family drink at fucking bars? he's a dog and definitaly doesn't have pockets.
In the middle of blowin me she stoppped and told me how easy it would be to insert a catheter ..... Apparently she was a nursing major
he doesnt exactly give off the "im mature enough to use my penis" vibe
He used one end of the towel to wipe the cum and I used the other end to wipe the tears
He threw me out a window and then threw raw ground beef at us. Normally you'd hate someone for that, but that guy's great.
I don't even want to go. i just want to be a hermit and live in a cave with an elephant that pisses vodka
just saw sorostitutes streaking near the university president's house. thank you tequila day
Definitely just found that pen in the microwave. What the fuck.
I'm just that drunk tells people I love them or wants to set them on fire. Accept that.
Comedy Central is in dire need of more sitable faces late at night - Trevor Noah has a baby face - there are federal rules against those types of sexual fantasies
His penis is average but his stamina is amazing!!! I didn’t know I had that many orgasms in my body!!!!
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