my coke dealer is running a Black Friday special
the dude from the bar called to tell his mom about me immediately after we finished PLEASE COME GET ME
So many stories. To uyou are sober. I heart you though. Jesus. Dirrty dancing jusyt came oine!!no. Lie.
At some point last night was I riding a garbage can.. Things are starting to come back to me
He was banging holes in the kitchen wall with pots. They tried to pull him away but only managed to pants him. He kept "drumming".
I was wondering if I fell or perhaps got hit by a truck, then I remembered, it's cause I did a splits contest at the bar
My vibrator challenges you to a duel.
Dude. Zebras have bad attitudes.
hes like bread. how could bread be dangeous
Where are you? Your parents are here. Their flight got in early.
Trashy Tequila Tuesdays. Have them meet me here @ the bar.
I'm not sending your parents to see you drunk at a gay bar. What kind of boyfriend do you think I am?
A great one. Entertain them i'll be home soon....... I think
He threw up on my head while I was blowing him, and then I started barfing, and the kitchen floor was a mess. Believe me, he will never, ever live this down.
I swear every time I see him he's either dancing or trying to touch people
I think everyone at the office can tell I'm dehydrated
you mean still drunk
I've heard it both ways
Yeah I know my dick is weird, but I've surprisingly had a lot of fun with it.
Yeah. I fucked her boyfriend, she knows, and she still wants to keep dating him. That's love.
Randomize