i fell asleep last night with fifteen animal crackers in my mouth. rock bottom dude.
Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
Tim hortons said i dont meet their criteria. What the fuck criteria is that? You put bagels in an oven.
i dont know if you remember blowing your vomity nose directly into my hand...yeah thanks for that
Within 5 minutes of max walking in his pants were off and he was wearing my snow goggles as underwear.
I just sniffled when I woke up and got a bump of coke. I have never felt so good hung over.
Seriously though, you almost tore my right nipple off.
Malt liquor mondays...better in theory.
my vagina can't take this anxiety. there is no way he is 19 and this smooth. he's lying about his age or he's a goddamn sexual prodigy
What kind of outfit says I totes want you to take me in the airplane bathroom?
Today I left one job interview, showed up randomly at his house for a midday bootycall then left right after to attend my second job interview. I got both jobs
He may not be fully over his current wife yet. But wait until I show him my tits in his office at the end of the day tonight.
he was like "can i get a kiss" and i was like "can i get a taco"
You are under a naked attack watch for the whole weekend. Shelter in place.
Fruitcakes are only good for throwing at neo Nazis.
Randomize
