I got wasted for the 1st time and I sat in a fridge for 2 hours and a trash can?
Making my coffee at work this morning let out a jack daniels fark. Turn around and see the quiet guy making his breakfast
jungle juice + heels + stairs = broken arm
his penis was the training wheels of my sex life
Can we have fireworks this year or will the ocean explode?
I'd invite him but there's too many people who have fucked me going already
After he told me that it's up to him to carry on his family name, I almost felt bad for not letting him cum inside me.
Has now officially visited every ER in this city in one semester.
like the only thing i remember is bringing a piece of toast to the bar...
Some guy just yelled at me from his car "CLIIIIIIIIIITT"... I feel like this has something to do with last night....
We see some guy emerge from the forest on the island this morning, alone, in only a snuggie. Morning shots and bagels on us for the number one walk of shame.
My gynaecologist hit my g-spot today by accident and for some reason I went "at least someone found it" VERY AWKWARD
I feel like a drive thru vagina
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
I wanna print it out and hang it on the fridge like parents do with good report cards.
oh the joys of a picture of a negative pregnancy test
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