fuck yea just found my unicorn costume from when i was 8... still fits
you have to choose: penises or morals?
i'm using a wine bottle as a spitter. how classy is that.
I really wanna talk..
if by talk you mean have nasty makeup sex involving marshmellow fluff.. I'm down
seeing an 80 year old woman puke in the bushes changes everything...
that's spring break in florida for ya
How long is a courtesy make out supposed to last??
I vaguely remember walking down the highstreet with a plate of K offering lines to passers buy. I sold a line to a taxi driver.
I am now best friends with a lesbian named Zulu. I am pretty hammered already and made a game time decision to stay here another night,for partying purposes
Just woke up with an eye that wont open, a half eaten piece of pizza on my chest and a raging boner.
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
I woke up in confetti... confetti and shame
If I shaved my pubic hair into a heart for valentine's day how much would you judge me?
How drunk is too drunk to be on an airplane?
DAMN HIS BEARD AND ABILITY TO USE TOOLS ON A LADDER!!
The fact that I made out with a twenty one year old father is kind of worrying me now. Like. This is exactly what I wasn't supposed to do in life.
Randomize
