I just walked into his bathroom to see two poops floating... no toilet paper. WTF!?
I woke up this morning with a hospital armband on containing all the information off my fake i.d. WTF did we do last night!?!?
We were fucking on his hammock and right as he came we flipped over. I landed on him, he landed on a pile of pinecones. We're done with nature sex.
I cannot even. Taco bell reception. Beers. New friends from Georgia.
whatever buzz i had immediately ended when i saw her run through a sliding glass door
We were eating hotdog buns dipped in French onion dip in lawn chairs at 4am. That drunk
Will that be creepy to wake him up at midnight with my tongue all over his body??
I just overheard this sorority girl saying "It's like trick or treting but for alcohol and with no costumes." I'm jealous.
A special kind of bond is formed between two people when they act as a pee shield for one another for drunken pisses in an alleyway
Hey also tomorrow casually bring up wearing crocs to your sister's wedding
Never doubt me. I am drunk and unstoppable and I will finish this book
Last thing I remember at your house last night is your dad leaning on the beer pong table and saying "you guys can fucking party"
I can't say too many people would say watching their drunk best friends fuck in a hot tub is very normal.
I am high. And my mom surpised me today. Now i am high and with my mom....bad idea
I've started recycling nudes. Why should I take new pictures for every single man?
Randomize
