I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
you know how i said i wouldn't send that pic message of your lofted bed falling from you fucking a fat chick? that was after i sent it to your mom
make sure you eat your skittles last so when you barf you can barf RAINBOWS.
I'm glad you enjoy my eating disorder so much.
Just ate lunch with a paperclip again. Seriously, need to invest in plastic forks.
I woke up in the penthouse and did lines off the to of the fireplace. This is not real.
please dont pick me up from the airport dressed like a terrorist.
She started acting like she was actually a deaf person...so I went along with it and acted like her interpreter. I don't think anyone bought it.
vaguely remember the bartender stopping me outside last night so he could pull the duct tape out of my hair
dude. you ripped the mardi gras beads off the girls neck and yelled she didnt deserve them..
I have bruises on my ass from her spurs. God bless Texas.
Pros and cons of selling your underwear to a guy on craigslist. Go.
Come down off the roof.
Siri makes being stoned even easier. I don't even Have to type my texts myself
Though I typed a half of that one
Spent tonight painting strippers in camo.
Harry Potter pub crawl tonight. You know you're living your life right when your check list for the evening is wizard robes, wand and acid.
Also, we can't be seen together looking suspicious or sexually satisfied
Randomize
