Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
I fear hooking up with people who have white pillowcases because my guyliner always smears on it and i either have to A. sneak out in the night or B. wash it and see them again
Nothing gets me like the O.C. theme song does.
You told me you were pretty sure you were god because you knew everything about everyone.
I just found ouut you can get a DUI in a kayak. Fuck.
i've never heard her scream louder than when the koreans scored. what am i lacking in bed?
I wish the inside of the tampon box said "CONGRATULATIONS YOUR NOT A MOTHER!"
Well were gunna have to wash the couch cover now...maybe even the couch, soap or fire your decision
I wasn't vocally whispering "she wants to bite your dick off" about that kirsten girl was I?
I got really high and googled the history of Amish people for like an hour.
He's against "violent sex" cause apparently my body is "sacred". Like dude I'm about to tell you about blowing your brother just so you'll fuck me like an animal Jesus Christ....
I had fresh baked oatmeal cookies, tacos AND was on deck to give a stellar blow job. You'd think that'd be a win/win/win situation.
I am literally this close to screaming out my window if anyone nearby was down to fuck. I am too damn horny.
Sex and compliments. The way to my heart
I think even the taco bell employees judged me
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