i just got fired from my job because i was "too smart" and my immedate response was i am WAY too stoned to be considered smart, and theni walked out the door.
wow. i have no words.
just got off the metro to throw up and got back on like it ain't no thang
really making moves this morning i see
About to fuck some random fraternity guy I met at a party. I guess this would be the right time to say I don't want to be with you anymore.
I've eaten cheese dip for three consecutive meals. I think I need to branch out.
Strip beer pong in the front yard? Of course the cops showed up
He said in a slur "I go so hard, even when I..." and cut himself off by projectile vomiting all over the ice luge.
You would be too ashamed to ever love me again if you saw the filth I just created. It brings unspeakable dishonor to the nacho dynasty. Like I raped the king's daughter, cut off her hands and made him eat them that's how hard I fucked up nachos.
He's short and fat and honestly I think he's what my self esteem was made for
Text me all the things you want us to do this summer. So far, I have Kegstand written down
If anyone remembers any details of tonight please address concerns to my lawyer. This is a mass text.
I spent $31 at mcdonalds last night. Threw my nuggets all over the yard, ate them out of the snow, picked a fight about it, vomited, then passed out.
Naked.
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
i just teared up watching channing tatum in drag emerge from the fog on lip sync battle. it's gotta be PMS. either that or something is realllllly wrong with me.
Well, if it's rabies, your lips will swell just prior to the frothing. Get a lot of good pics!
I went from swearing off of sex to planning a threesome. It's been a rollercoaster of a day.
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