Kelly went into her room with Dave, but is moaning Tommy...
I hope you fall in a pool of honey in an immensely populated region of bears.
You tried to wear your Jesus costume into Family Christian stores and say it was a book signing.
His internet history had "Disney Porn" on it.
You two kept repeating the same thing over and over. It was like looking after retarded pull-string dolls.
I don't know why people felt they couldn't use the toilet with me passed out in the tub. I shut the curtain. It was like being in another room.
I might've decided it was a good idea to try to steal all of the pool balls at the pub... I apologize in advance that we now need to become regulars somewhere (anywhere) else.
i took a picture of my dick. with a stick figure drawn on it. and a paper hat taped to the tip. and i call i the mayor of Dickville
If I get to the point of singing Man of Constant Sorrow then please god let me do it, record it, then cut me off.
I don't think a gay three way is the best way to confirm your sexuality.
We broke up. And I told him he better give me my fucking star wars movies tomorrow. Priorities.
I'm experimenting with sincerity
My weirdest encounter with a stranger though was when for some reason they just gave me a box of unopened socks. Needless to say, I never used them.
i have pictures frm only 4 hours ago that will fucking ruin you so i suggest yuo come get me.
Where are you?
dunno. ask mike. bring pain killers. and underwear. and my dignity.
so apparently over the course of the night my roommate and i had sex in exactly the same spot. ps the downstairs sink needs cleaning.
Randomize
