I cant date a girl that sucks dick at sucking dick
The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
I just realized I am holding a beer in 133 out of 134 photos of me on my facebook page.
Nobody is perfect
I'm at Waffle House wearing one of the paper hats in the other
I bought a police grade breathalyzer on ebay at 4:37 am. At least I'm a responsible drunk.
I just want uncharted vagina. Fresh and ripe.
If only we could all 3 say fuck school to be stoner flight attendants
At least I'm doing lines with a notecard. That counts for something right
That's the only way to get approved without a guarantor.
WHAT DOES THAT MEAN WHAT FUCKING LANGUAGE ARE YOU SPEAKING
Remember Christopher who always sends me pictures of his penis? Look to your right, boy in the blue.
I remember sitting in your lap naked saying I don't want to be all looks while you gently rocked me back and forth
The impact your presence has on my vagina without even putting your hands on me is quite astonishing, impressive and a little disturbing.
Hey man, when I left for work she was laying on the couch naked cuddling your keurig, can you clean that mess up?
Found a trail of Taco Bell hot sauce packets through the garage to our back door and cheese in my bra. I'll say it was a successful Sunday Funday.
He's petting your head, we need to leave now.
My lack of taco bell is hindering me from seeing the good part of that situation
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