Holy wow, I found all the old poems u wrote me back when we were in looooooooove...just sort of wild to look back on, thought u'd like that
Just got a citation from campus security for an "accordion disturbance."
What would you have done with a 40 foot neon parrot anyway?
First night in the new apartment. There are 12 people here i don't know, Tequila, and a crying girl locked in our bathroom. I think the apartment christening is complete.
The polaroid of me taking a test-tube of Jegar out of the gay guys mouth pretty much explains my trip to Spain.
Can you send me a picture of you not naked, my mom wants to see what you look like
Let us do this. Tomorrow night is thirsty Thursday. Let us drink whiskey from the bottle and have men in plastic gloves inscribe permanent images of each others faces onto our buttocks.
PUT YOUR FRESHLY SHAVED MEXICAN POON ON THAT BEARD. NOW.
Why is my fridge empty save for a basketball???
Phil and I agree that the level of sand in your vagina rivals that of many of the earth's largest deserts
Netflix, eggnog, and bed? Maybe some hand stuff?
The night was crazy enough that we did a workout. Instructed by the bouncer at 2am
She rode me like a jockey on that tiny couch. Then we spooned.
Legit just looked at the gin bottle and said, “Aw fuck, I’m going to feel this in the morning.”
She called and said she was waiting for me naked. I got there and she was in ratty sweats, sitting in Nick's lap, with divorce papers. Needless to say my night was shitty.
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