used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
I just had teddy grams, ritz crackers, and twizzlers for dinner. Hello, end of the semester.
My walk of shame got a new perspective when I walked into his livingroom and found his roommate fucking some chick on the coffee table.
He referred to our sex as being similar to "Two cheetahs cage fighting" and I have to agree.
i told him I'd let him eat part of a weed cookie out of my cleavage, so he pulled over like a gentleman.
Suspicion confirmed. my mom has her nipples pierced
Way to crack the case Nancy Drew
well if they don't get here soon...no fuck it, I'm going to the strip club.
A woman with Alzheimer's pointed at me and said, "Don't forget to wear socks, because you're a lady!" I think it's legit advice.
I woke up in a bunk bed beside two Brazilians dude you have no idea how happy I was
Let me know. Show me one boob if yes. 2 if no
How do you tell a woman that you are seeing that the scars on your back are from her awesome-in-bed little sister?
How do you nicely stand up a date that you're skipping for a 3sum
i didnt realize that your first thought would be SEXUALIZING BREAD
Btw I thought it was impossible to use up 48 bottles of patron in one night but I was wrong...
She lured me back to her place with pizza and tits. I was totally helpless
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