can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
Sometimes I find that I've been touching my boob(s) without even realizing it.
Im drinkin out of a coconut! I think im gonna dip my balls in it!
Masturbating after my cheeseburger. It's unavoidable.
This whole living in Ohio thing is getting reaaaaallly old.
They had half off shots during the fourth quarter. I was powerless.
Im trying to find an appropriate gift to your mom for getting both you and your sister on birth control within a week, any suggestions?
We came back and there was a shotglass filled with what looks like blood. Come over soon, we're gonna try it out.
I was short on money so I let my roommate mase me for $60
I may have just unintentionally roofied a man in a wheelchair
Yeah. I had to take off my shirt. It's soaked in weakness.
please, i've had weekends with less dignity than this.
She could makes a perfectt roast dinner drunk but she nearly sets the kitchen alight microwaving popcorn.
1. My arms are cement 2. I wish dogs could answer the phone
Maybe singing about how you'd bang Morgan Freeman to the tune of Single Ladies while holding champagne and a box of Cheerios wasn't the best first impression on his parents
Randomize
