Had a 3 sum last night, and today food just taste better and the air seems so much fresher!
Its the Friday before break. There are 20 kids in my 300 person lecture hall. All with the same what the fuck am I doing here look on there face.
it wasn't THAT bad but he definitely called his dick an asshole and said sorry to my vagina
I was talking to this girl who was in love with the air force. I was doing decently until I mentioned that the navy actually has more planes. Cockblocked by my knowledge of random trivia again.
The foreigner finally woke up and the first thing he did was look up a map of the u.s. His destination is to pennsylvania.
She spent a lot of time to get her cleavage to look that good. It would be rude not to stare. It shows you are paying attention. Chicks dig that.
Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?
i wanted to ask her what his dick looked like but i thought that would be weird for the first time i met her
Dude, you sent that text at 9:44 AM. Who thinks of drugs that early?
Breaking up as roommates was a poor life decision. I'm sorry. Thank you for never shitting on the floor.
He tried to tell me that he could handle his liquor better than "all the bitches in this town." AS HE THREW UP. ALL. OVER.
Hold on... Are we having an intellectual conversation about porn?
Yup
I love us.
He came inside and met my grandmother after we had sex in the driveway. I love that he has a van.
Do you think it would be weird to add her on Facebook?
You just commited a felony act together, I honestly think we're beyond this.
I was taking a nap and she comes in wo/ pants, gets up on the bed and mounts my face while watching Weeds on Netflix. I'm okay with it, but at least let me wake up first.
Randomize