naighbors jacking off again. i swear its his friday night ritual, its like he knows the night wont be ending in his favor
The hookah bar is playing i'm on a boat. I believe in god again.
i just went to use the bathroom this morning and I couldn't because there was someone puking in every stall. i'm going to miss the dorms this summer
Thinking about fake proposing to my gf just so the middle aged women next to us will buy us drinks
College students should never be allowed to have snow days. Never.
She was really fucking loud. My neighbors definetly knew my name...
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
So another one of your girlfriends from middle school had a baby. Thank god you are gay, otherwise you would definitely be a dad by now.
She's barefoot and topless screaming "HERE KITTY-KITTY" at a stray cat in the ditch on the side of the highway. How do I get her back in the car?
Come in your red robin gear. If you smell like French fries we can make love.
An image of us stuck like that like Pompeii comes to mind. A wonder for future anthropologists
Unless your apology includes a 20 something with loose morals and a daddy complex, I'm am not interested
I can't believe the police had to bring me to my booty call last night
Come on, what straight woman, gay man, or bi person HASN'T scrolled through Justin Trudeau pictures after a bad day?
I hate being on my period . Did you know that by the time I'm 30 I would've wasted 1,176 days of my life I could've had sex but couldn't bc I was on my period.
Randomize
