She wants her shit back. Clearly she missed the cheaters-get-their-shit-ritually-burned clause.
i rewarded my self with tacobell for not throwing up on any one. MISTAKE
I just had to take a drug test for my new job. I should have asked them if they could tell me if I were pregnant or not while they were at it and save me the guesswork.
you left a note on your car that said " please dont tow, im to drunk to drive. safety first!"
I made the bartender pinky promise me there was still vodka in my drinks.
I made weed fried chicken. What have you done today?
I just remember her telling me "Hi, my names Kaissa and I'm a lesbian" over and over and over and over again as I was crying.
she keeps giving me cups of everbeer.. its everclear and beer mixed. i guess its blackout or backout time
My vagina would be awesome. I would be the most popular girl in the village.
THAT DOESN'T MEAN YOU SHOULD LET ME CHUG VODKA.
Then you started screaming that this was the first time you did e and that you had a 4.8 gpa, that was right before you almost suffocated between that one girl's tits.
I've already come to terms that I'm gonna have to bone a few gross librarians, but hey, it's college
YOUR VAGINA IS SO CUTE IT'S LIKE A LITTLE MACAROON
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
Bug bite on my vagina. I think we need to stop this 'sex in awesome places campaign.'
Randomize
