Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
i'm starting to get really nervous about the relationship i have with my cat
rather than putting your name in guys phones, you just texted 90999 to donate $10 to Haiti and then gave it back to them
Just shaved my vagina. It's been so long I forgot what it looked like. You need to come over right now.
In hindsight, buying 4 different kinds of vibrators at once may have been a little overenthusiastic of me.
I woke up naked dangling by my feet from the balcony over his foyer. He's officially my new favorite booty call.
do you think she knows her nickname is brickface?
It was all cool until he grabbed my vag and started screaming: THIS IS MINE.
I gotta find new tactics tho. There's just so many tied up dicks one can look at before part of your soul dies.
I'll just be here. Naked. Eating tots and jello like a muh fuggin G
I can only send "I want your dick" texts to so many guys before I accidentally over-book myself. I need a day planner.
I have weed and a speedo - I don't need anything else.
Come home, I'm drunk on the porch and pretending to smoke breadsticks like cigarettes. Enticing, right?
I let him stay at my place since i had to work early and when i got home there was a fruit snack wrapper in my bed. I dont have any fruit snacks. Which means he brought his own fruit snacks to the fuck session.
you drug him to get him horny then deny him sex. freaks.
Randomize
