he bonged a 1/5 of jack and came back an hour later blacked out with a legitimate chicago firemans helmet
He doesn't know I'm infertile yet, that's when the sex gets good
The amount of pregnancy tests I've taken in my life is unhealthy
I think Charlie st. Cloud is the saddest thing I can masturbate to.
It's a lightpost hitting you in the head. Of course it's going to hurt the day after.
There is a visibable outline from you in the grass. its you in the fetal position...
Do what? I was just saying that at some point there's a chance I'll have a boner. Think of it like a guessing game. "Does he have one now?"
i told myself when i was 16 i would never fuck an Alan. now i've fucked 3 and i'm punching my 16-year-old self in the face
Exotic beer tasting at my apt right now and by that I mean I bought random beer and I'm drinking it on my balcony
The topic of sex in the jamba banana suit has come up on multiple occasions. We're just waiting for a moment to try it out.
Trust me, dating 38 and 20 year old dudes at the same time is the best. Money plus all of the sex. Finally figured out this relationship thing.
SCOTCH AND CIGARS AT THE TITTY BAR. YOU ARE COMING WITH US.
its the 14th virginity that counts the most anayways
OMG OMG OMG I just throwed up in his pillow case when he wentto start the sho wer, time to grab my bra and bounce!!!
Wow.
He's the one named Andrew. In his profile picture he is the one on the right in the monkey costume.
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