I thought she had blonde hair
No, Gonorrhea actually
Apparently they shut down a cook out cause people were selling drugsout the drive thru. Nice to be home
Ok so my english teacher told me i could have 5 absences bc of my "problem". I have no idea what she is talking about
I trust that you have thought of something completely illegal for us to do this weekend.
Time flies when you're blacked out in a lake
Judging by my bruises, I know I took more than one tumble. I probably pulled u down w me, and then punched you in the knee. Been trying to find a place to fix my phone between naps today. Almost no place accepts hand js as currency these days. 2013 is gonna be expensive and whorey.
I never thought I would have to get vodka suctioned out of my ear
I inhaled my own vomit, how was your night?
I'm trying to get WebMD to diagnose me with a hangover
That's like doing a cinnamon challenge in my vag - but more painful.
I tried to settle their lesbian roommate fight by turning on Pretty Wild
Xanax and cookies, it's good to be home
I gave three different guys a boner at the same time last night, and none of them are in the same city as I am. That's achievement.
It's becoming clear to me that I am not sugar baby material. I don't think I could handle old balls long term.
There is a baby in my apartment. What the fuck happened last night?
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