I tried to pay my bar tab with my gym membership card. Twice.
She wants her shit back. Clearly she missed the cheaters-get-their-shit-ritually-burned clause.
threw up in my backpack again. Asian guy I cheat from wasn't pleased.
I have to collect my sorority sisters from greek row... I hate how being dd is a night and morning job
Being back home for the summer opens up so many opportunities to have sex without increasing my number
High enough to fry lime slices.....tasted like shit, by the way
now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.
I always knew I'd be the first one with an STD
You left me with no money to have random Chicago sex. The least you can do is pick me up an egg mcmuffin on your walk of shame back to the hotel.
Just started taking liver support pills. Welcome to Senior year.
when you wake up in a apartment hallway wearing someone else's shoes, you can pretty much assume last night was a success.
My mascara kind of smells like tequila to me...Is this my body crying for help or asking for a shot?
You woke up, laughed, proceeded to throw up on me and then passed out again.
Congrats! Its a fuck boy!
What are you talking about? Keg stands at wedding are super classy.
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