remember facepaint boy? turns out it stains. aaaand i have it all over my face and neck.
And surprisingly enough iPhone does not have an app for Russian mail order brides.
I can't wait until next week, when I find out what drunk me added to the Netflix queue.
Just bonged a beer from a vuvuzela...this place is only doing good for me
Sorry for scaring your son with my drunken animal impressions
You put your shot glass in your waistband and then told me how convinent it was.
Reached a new low. Drinking Wine from my thermos while on the stair master.
You said that we all need to "head out like a boner through sweatpants and get fucked." Jager night was a success.
I have 7 papers to write and I already bought gas station ice cream in my pjs and questioned whether or not a beer float was a thing.
Well pulled into the driveway, and there she was. Kinda like a Vegas version of the mint on a pillow
we're the same shoe size and he owns more pairs of heels than i do. this could be the beginning of a beautiful friendship
You looked at me, said I was a nice guy. Then you drunkenly climbed on top of me and said you liked me and wanted me.
As I was puking, these 2 guys started peeing next to me chanting me on
I need a genital shamwow being this wet.
Oh god he’s a clown I fucked a rodeo clown
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