You ever start fucking a girl and realize she kinda looks like your mom?
I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
at first i was worried but she assured me her frail vegan body would have no chance at conception.
I just want to let you know it was a unanimous decision that we would eat you first if we ever turned into cannibals, we figured with all the bacon you eat you may taste like it. It's a chance we are willing to take with your life...don't forget that we love you
I want a grilled cheese and an IV
You should've come to the party. It was like an identity parade of everyone you screwed last year.
Instead of medicine they should just give ecstasy. Also I'm tingly and can't find u guys. A gay man just said he loved me... :( / :)
Well. Turns up no one actually knows who that kid was. Came in, said happy fathers day, chilled for a while, then left.
Id fuck him but only at his house and he had to stay im bed till i left. He only works upper body. It just creeps me out how tiny his legs are
I'm a terrible friend...i should have come right over instead of having sex for an hour and a half. :/ want anything from burger king?
I WOLD FCUK YUO INTOO THE MOON
THE MOOOOOOOON
I'm still not 100% sure who I'm sleeping with
Sabotage it. Cum quick. Make it awkward so you don't hurt her feelings. Who says nice guys finish last?
I fucked her with a giant balloon tied to my dick. You tell ME how my night went
I can tell just by looking at the wedding photos that the groom has hooked up with at least three of his groomsmen. I would feel bad for her except that she’s hooked up with two of the same ones.
Randomize