i just wanna soil my oats bro
I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
so i was trying to be sexy and unzip his pants with my teeth. i got my lip caught in the zipper and it bled for a good 15 min, totally a mood killer.
that girl is introducing herself into your group of friends one dick at a time.
Dude, she told me she wanted to bang my dad. I don't know which is worse, the fact that she wants to or the fact that she told me.
just chugged some gatorade and threw it up. todays gonna be awesome
I need someone to meet me at the end of the road and throw captain morgan at my face like they do with water at marathons
lets just say that i have already today: gotten drunk, got in a fight, got stranded an hour away from home, found a ride, sobered up, and slept. woken back up, and here i am. its been a long day. Day drinking is bad for friendships.
Ummm so does anybody remember me stopping to get my ear peirced last night and make an earring out of a staple? Or did I just somehow lay on this thing and ram it through my ear?
Just thought i'd let you guys know that my dad was roofied at a lesbian bar last night...
At 4 am, making my walk of shame, the hotel security followed me to my car with his flashlight shined directly on me. I felt like either a criminal or like I was about to get raped. Can't a girl sneak out of a hotel room without an actual spotlight on her?!?!?!
I doubt she'll sponsor it. You know alcohol and fireworks don't mix, right?
It's okay. We're not going to soak the fireworks in alcohol. The alcohol is for drinking.
hey now, it was 6 bucks for 5 shots. you would have lost your panties too.
You meet the best people naked in a hot tub at 2 am.
So I had Xanax for breakfast & I'm probably going to fuck my tennis instructor.
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