Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
I ran out of diet so I'm mixing captain with a juice box. Being a mom has finally paid off.
I walked downstairs and there were 50 sorority girls. I wasn't expecting an audience during my walk of shame.
Is it socially acceptable to order two burrito bowls?
anything's socially acceptable if you do it with enough confidence
We are so drunk I just let him piss between my legs on the toilet. That's love.
Did they have a limo or was i just stoned?
I ended up staying at a police station for being a witness in a public masturbation case..NOW do you believe me that I've never had a good St. Patrick's Day?
No He hasn't done that since the time he came in his own eye
I'm pretty sure the guy she brought home is a polish porn star..
I'm at this kids house trying to figure out if I pissed in his kitchen new years eve. Lmao, stop letting me drink.
I'm supposed to be studying for finals but all I can think about is blowing him on a sea doo this summer
I'm super stoned watching the vatican smoke cam. Come over.
I need an inhaler full of pot for all of this breathless rage.
I don't know what she looks like but I'm pretty sure she has a pussy.
On a scale from 1 to total dick, how inappropriate is it to pick your boyfriend up from rehab with a hangover?
Randomize
