so... i had sex tonight
with a midget
nicccce tits for a little person
You closed the sidewalk off to pedestrians last night. With a glitter covered safety cone
i dont need a football game to get drunk and yell at my tv
he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
You tried to tip the paramedic for finding you.
I would just watch. I wouldn't even have a boner cuz I would do so much coke. It would just be funny.
at which point he tried to give himself a prince albert piercing with the stapler on his desk.
I created a new solo drinking game. You need a handle, a laptop, and a shitty internet connection. Start watching the fort video in the que, play the snake while the videos constantly load, and take a drink everytime you fuck up. There was a video of a an asain female Justin beiber impersonator full screen when I woke up.
She's cute, but batshit. Like some kind of dominatrix disney princess.
& I just realized there is no vomit smiley. There needs to be a vomit smiley
The bros used their bong water as pong water but I walked in mid game and didn't know so they hit our first cup and I chugged it.
I can't believe he's mad at you for not remembering your fake anniversary.
Where is Holly?
Nevermind. i can hear her having sex two doors down
Ok maybe second best. He dated a stripper. Can't compete with that level of hoeness
Who knew removing piercings would be so radical?
Randomize
