You work out of a Hotel?
His pubic hair was longer than his dick
ok, just found out the kid i had random sex with in April was on wheel of fortune so i can really no longer say i regret that night
Can we hire someone to dj while we have sex?
I an in a belgian bar and i cant understand shit. Trying to talk to strangers. Getting drunk until we all speak the same language. Brace for updates.
Where are you? I hear fireworks and you've gone missing. I'm sure that is not coincidence.
im currently assessing the tequila situation in preparation of your arrival
Just saw you in traffic. You may have noticed me, I was the corpse driving the white car.
Nothing like waking up naked and alone on your floor to remind you that you make life mistakes often.
All I see when I think of you are dancing penis angels around your head.
I woke up with "To whom it may concern" sharpied on my dick
Your mankini haunted my dreams.
He told me he loved me and I told him I shit myself
God I miss you. I would very much like to have sexual intercourse with you. I'm home eating chicken alfredo.
You said you're gonna end your night with a six pack and awful erotica
Randomize
