I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
Hey when I die alone will you come by often enough so that my cats don’t eat my face?
Is it sad I memorized the exact change required for a #7 at Wendy's?
dude your girlfriend loves you alot..she yelled your name lastnight in bed
My entire childhood was an ugly sweater party
Jesus people on campus asked me what i do for joy. I said i love sinning especially pre-marital sex.
Hey, my drug test is at 4:15 tomorrow. I'll meet you 5 minutes later.
Did we fight the bathroom girl ? She just wanted to give us lotion and condoms.
I left myself a trail of jello shots, that ended at his door. OR maybe he left me a trail of jello shots at his door. DO I GO IN!?
I am in a hotel room with 10 people. John is in bed eating an industrial sized pan of mashed potatoes. I think a non insignificant number of people saw my nipples.
Then years and years after that I will send you a picture of my warped vagina from all the kids that I had.
I'm standing up, for my all my brothers and sisters, and fighting against whiskey dick.
i just got drunk and created an entire Dr Seuss unit for my first graders.
just move with us, we wanted to get a dog. youre kind of the same thing..
Had a dream I was doing scat with Caroline. I need to lay off the cheese at night
Randomize
