Do you not remember dry humping your dog for 20 minutes at oxfest dude?
That's the secret to virgins: blizzards.
Apparently you walked through my house with your dress on your head
Shaq going to Cleveland; Vince Carter to the Magic; Michael Jackson, Farrah Fawcett, and Ed McMahon die.... ARMAGEDDON IS UPON US!!!!!
girl you didnt miss much. except me passing out for 3 hours AT JOBBIE NOONER on some random's boat. i was topless, then completely naked. heard girls were throwing ice cubes at me. i was useless. remember nothing.
I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
She got a tattoo in memory of her cat, my attratcion to her is no more.
i'll never see her again. i cant remember her last name. this is like cinderella except prince charming drank too much jameson and couldnt save a phone number properly
I'm covered in sharpie and the girl next to me just said something smells like fried food. Hint: it's me. Why am I in class?
Totally sleeping on a bloodstained mattress tonight. I love life's little adventures.
I feel as bad as you right now. I'm about to use one girls car to go see another one
Fuck ya. But normally I drove one girls car picking up a different girl while texting another girl lol
Don't worry about me. I am infinite.
got some info she was last seen with some guy wearing goggles
Ran into my FWB on my walk of shame and went back to her place. Even my walk of shames are awesome!!!
Randomize
