That's the secret to virgins: blizzards.
Every time a song comes on I get sad if glee has not a cover of it
oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
From what I remember, he had one ball. But it was cute
stuck in the elevator with that hot guy from the 3rd flood. Worried he can smell my spray tan and desperation
Next Halloween I want us to dress up as jockeys, get drunk, and ride a carousel all night until we throw up or declare a winner
I'm sorry I peed on the bushes at your law firm. Is there anyway you could defend me for the ticket I'm about to get?
Please tell me those naked pics were not your mom. Lie if you have to.
Well I mean enduring a 45 minute conversation about C-sections was worth the 9 jello shots those soccer moms gave me.
Damn it. If you ever throw me again, take video.
Its a good night when you get to makeout with a cowboy
The modern romantic, surprising his gf w/ a gram of blow
For future reference: When the bouncer is approaching you to remove you from his bar, you don't respond by taking off your pants.
the people in front of me have a grocery cart in their car... i missed college...
I was so high last night that at one point I kept licking his neck saying he tasted like soap and truffles.
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