I am not deleting the internet history anymore, now I am going for shock value.
i'm making a list of conversation topics in my blackberry so the ride won't be so awkward
i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
I saw him coke blaxckout on the subway at 9 this morning yelling at people callig himself the gatekeeper.
Just bought an airhorn. Bad things will happen.
Less talking, more tequila
I just want my birth control to stop making me feel like I'm watching baby seals get clubbed to death any time anything even remotely unpleasant happens lol
You and your vagina are hellbent on selfdestruction and bad decisions
Dude...can we put that on a tshirt? I will totally sport that shit.
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.. I just figured you were drunk and needed somewhere to crash, but your no where to be found. I'll I have is this corn dog. call me when you get this. I'm worried! --mom
Dude, for twins they have shockingly different blowjob styles.
STOP FUCKING MY SISTERS!!!!
I don't think this guy is worth it unless he's a skilled sexual amigo
he sneezed into my face mid-kiss
Bless his heart
the shoes thing blows my mind idk how the fuck i did that and im also missing 4 of my birth control pills like did i drunkenly decide to overload my body with estrogen
I also don't hate being called a giant sack of cheese. Is that weird?
Don't worry about it too much, but I just committed us to possibly raising a kid
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