summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
if your phone is working sorry i called you at 2am. if it is not then i never called your phone at 2am
Imagine that my comprehension level is that of a 7 year old and explain your plan again
Although I love the reason it was done, can you maybe not show pictures of my dick to all your friends at parties? I like to present my penis in my own special way. thanks
By the way, we're gonna have to get a new rug for the livingroom i kinda started ours on fire...
When a chinchilla decides to sit on your face while you're getting head from its owner, you bond.
You look cute and you are awesome. And that means something coming from a judgmental bitch
Just saw a huge group of people walk by in there in their underwear. Too stoned for this.
we got kicked out of McDonald's because you kept screaming THAT SHIT CRAY at the woman in front of us because she ordered a fish filet.
...that shit cray.
Just rolled up a joint with a cop standing right beside me. He just told us to not leave behind any garbage or empties. God I love canadian camping
the dj asked me quote "are you sure you're sober enough to do this?" And I grabbed the mic from him and said "ill fucking show you sober- HIT IT". I also dropped the mic at the end so he had to come around and pick it up
Shania Twain would have been proud
Did you just send me an ass picture with a quote from the lion king?
What are you gonna do about it?
Dude i woke up today by a pile of fried chicken and wearing a bra
.......stop going to frat parties....
I woke up to rachel asking "did anyone else fall out of a tree last night?"
I woke up using a beer can as a pillow. successful party?
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