What's your middle initial? I need it for the census. I put us down as "unmarried partners."
Oh my god... you're gay. Ps, its A.
No no. According to the 2010 US Census, we're gay.
Puked in my laptop case in the middle of my nutrition class.
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
Fun fact: I don't want to be an actual functioning adult because why
You slid down the bannister into a split. Lines were crossed.
Im going..... Drinking all day and hand jobs from 18yr old emo rich girls that are just trying to get back at mom and dad for being to protective...SOLD
He told me I was his first American. I feel like I should've brought a flag to plant on him.
I spent ten minutes questioning her on what kind of cup she wanted... Then I asked what kind of water she wanted..
WOAH TOO HIGH
you were telling us about the time you had sex in an alley and he stopped, looked up and said 'it was a cul-de-sac' and went right back to what he was doing.
Well I can't go home with anyone tonight bc I stuffed my bra
But that background check said 51...Omg. If I hooked up with someone that's my dads age.....
It's like my life is one of those movies where after a bunch of outlandish events that only happen in a movie the girl realizes her true life calling and lives a great life with a sexy man of multiple races. But I'm stuck in the fucked up part where 25 year olds come in their pants.
Ran into my statistics professor at the bar, he chugged a car bomb and yelled "x bar mothfucker!". On average I'm loving this PhD program.
LOL he's a hopeless romantic now? 🤔 I'd say giving him a bj in a freakin softball dugout isn't the most romantic thing but it still happened
The pandemic has not made Uber drivers any less chatty.
Randomize