You can't special order awesome
He felt like a one man threesome
the vast amounts of cleavage i'm sporting to my final says "no, I didn't study but don't worry I've got something lined up for when I don't graduate".
Btw sorry for throwing that bag of ice at your face lastnight....
He just told me that when we were doing it I told him I was the captain and he was the boat. Im too embarassed to ask for money for a cab.
I'm not proud of how I threatened that 8 year old during drunken laser tag
Hey, I got 20% of the people home that I was responsible for. I can't be expected to do much more.
Can't. Busy recovering from the worst pulled muscle of my life that I got either from excessively acrobatic boning or carrying a huge fucking ice luge down the street while wearing 4 inch heels
I'm hoping my engineering degree will pay off when I invent porn watching in the shower
If there is a heaven, that's what it will be. Bagel Bites and cunnilingus.
I felt like I was having sex with Joffrey from Game of Thrones. Needless to say how bad it was
I shaved my entire vagina for a man who had the personality of a potato and a C- orgasm. Life is a series of disappointments.
MY BUTT IS BIG ENOUGH FOR AN ANACONDA AND HE DOESNT GET TO ENJOY IT TOUGH SHIT
I cant believe you made me read bad furry sexts
its the 14th virginity that counts the most anayways
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