our cab driver is having phone sex.
You just kept saying over and over "Tell me I won't do it." Someone finally told you you won't. You did. Welcome to herpes.
He insisted on sleeping in my bed. Had he taken all of my obvious hints I would have sucked his dick. He only wanted to snuggle. My world has been turned upside down.
just had to explain to the health center why i wanted 50 condoms a month.
You should know me better than that. I don't whore around. I promise this is a blowjobs only kind of trip.
Not a clue. But I did find out that his penis has a British accent.
I'm calling in my "fuck at anytime anywhere" card. Meet me at my place in 20 min, wear your Waldo costume.
You were great dude. You wanted to charge the guy with fedora $100 to get in.
He wasn't excited for the fifty shades of grey trailer, so I told him we're done
Just responding to the most professional request I've ever gotten to get shitfaced.
you told me you wanted to be a soccer mom with a high tolerance then you put the bottle to your face
Is it bad when your own grandmother calls you a whore?
i just wanna know who wrote "dibbz" on my ass?
We have sober sex! It's a real relationship.
well, i found him passed out on a picnic table two miles away with a lit cig in his hand...he had a rough night
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