I wish life was like the Sims. Right when you're pregnant the music would play and I would just know instead of agonizing for the next two weeks.
just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
She was so drunk yelling at me in my driveway to fuck her. It was the ghetto version of Romeo and Juliet.
It'll be just me and my penis against the world.
He told me he felt like he shoud say thank you and as a prize i could keep anything from his room that i wanted.
This tent reeks of fear and sangria
While he was gone for spring break I took his head board... I don't wanna wake up from his shenanigans for the rest of my college career.
As if I wouldn't steal Nintendo brand "Mario is my HOMEBOY!" boxers when he gave me the entire drawer to choose from.
Took my plan b at Costco today, sample Sunday for the win.
I smell like cowboy sweat. I got two lap dances. This is the best day of my life!
I think my fortune cookie is telling me I give good blowjobs.
The modern romantic, surprising his gf w/ a gram of blow
Go have a frustration cry and get over it
I just got out of the shower and I feel like I just washed off 10 lbs of bad decisions...
It was like Lady and the Tramp, but just tramp and the tramp. And instead of spaghetti and meatballs, we had whiskey and cups
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