you were making out, puked over his shoulder and insisted everything was okay
the chick you hooked up with on my couch facebook friended me.
just thought you should know her name is kristen
I did the seizure Bad Romance dance again last night, didn't I?
you were really good actually. your skill is increasing over time
We are winners. And by winners I mean home wrecking sluts
Isn't that what our 20s r for?? Testing the strength of other people's shitty relationships?
Y'know, "Class cancelled because Professor is stuck in Mexico," is not something I expected in college. Let alone, "Professor is stuck in Mexico, AGAIN."
How the hell do you leave a party with a kitten? It's missing and everyone knows it was you.
I swear to god, if you fuck the hot one you're paying me back for the shot I just bought her
EVERYTHING IS DISNEY. Even my sexting can lead to Disney.
I just need to stick to one night stands and delete social media
I felt like the hulk waking up from a black out except with munchies
do you remember yelling out "insecurity makes my pussy dry!" unnecessarily loud at the bar?
Thinking about licking your asshole. And hugs and stuff too I guess.
It’s like my vagina just knows when a man is a barrel-chested freedom fighter.
Come on in. I'm butt naked, in the kitchen, eating ice pops
Well, let me first tell you that jack and cokes were ONE FUCKING DOLLAR.. It's like the club wanted me to make poor choices.
Randomize
