my mom hid the smirnoff from me. this is the most fucked up game of hide and seek EVER
aparently i pased my english final. I don't even remember taking it.
Just erased 'masturbate' from my mental To-Do list because I've got too much stuff to do. I hate adulthood
there were staples in my comforter. what kind of sex did we even have?
Hannah wants to know if she cant borrow your stats notes because she threw up on hers.
will you please stage a drunk girl intervention and tell him that his chain is severely harming his chances of getting laid tonight?
What are you wearing tonight?
The colors of the winddddddd
I gotta say, I do way better with the ladies than I do the men. So if it turns out being gay is a choice, then I'm going to go ahead and choose it.
The attempted closet masturbation was unforgivable.
That was the most fucked up I've ever seen him. He had the fucking Canola Oil!
I've woke up with the same hoodie on backwards, twice this week. I think that's a record
I have been drunk every time I've gone to mexico. I do not remember mexico.
She told me she loved my new hairstyle. I told her its called head head.
The stripper started talking about murdering people....that lapdance turned dark.....
you asked me how to turn on the ladder
Well, if you do die, I'll bedazzle your coffin.
Randomize
