I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
woke up this morning to find the entire staircase covered in marinara sauce, with my roommate practically sobbing and scrubbing the wall with carpet cleaner.
Im eating the cereal I found in my pocket and drinking wine out of the bottle.
Everytime I know she spent a lot of time on her hair for one of our dates, I intentionally cum on the top of her head. That's how she knows I pay attention.
No no no. When you take one for the team, there are no stipulations or conditions
He said I was trying to make the bouncer dance with me AS he was throwing me out
Okay, just a casual question: how did i manage to get grass stains on the inside of my bra?
it was all good until he screamed "for fraaannnceee" on his last thrust
You couldn't find your shoe so you introduced yourself as Cinderella for the rest of the night.
Ahh that explains the text from creepy mike saying he would be my prince charming.
I told her the only thing I had going for me was my huge cock. She said she was willing to overlook my other shortcomings.
Because I'm a hot mess throwing up in the litter box
Welcome to the club of "Sick of cleaning up actual shit." We meet on the 3rd Sunday of each month. Bring your ceremonial viking helmet.
wasn't that the evening we made out with the girls from the dental school, drank 3000 beers, almost had to beat up a guy at the strip club and James nailed some hot piece of tail and took her OSU windbreaker, which my dad went on to wear multiple times after finding it in the garage.
Yes. To all of that. Yes.
How was the tequila? Are you making bad decisions yet?
when I said eat the rich I didn't mean like that but here we are sucking that capitalist dick
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