I acted like I was still sleeping as she gathered her stuff to leave.. that's when she let one rip
Can you still call it a wet dream if sandwiches were involved?
My walk of shame got a new perspective when I walked into his livingroom and found his roommate fucking some chick on the coffee table.
I think i blacked out...but i remember licking your teeth
Night is still young. Puking guts out part of it just began
She called us while she was having sex to ask if we remembered to feed the cat
I dont understand how her boyfriend puts up with her weirdness
It wasn't like a party or anything. They played PlayStation and talked about sports. Then I threw up on his porch.
I'm dressed as a caveman and drunk so that's not really an option
And my cousin was so drunk he called an uber and instead he got into a cop car and they took him to the hospital
I have 3 bottles of vodka in my room telling me not to go to work tomorrow.
I'm trying to fuck him and feed him. I don't understand why it isn't working.
It's a sad day when you're not really phased by the McChicken video only because you've seen weirder porn.
Can you please bring the nipple sombrero up?
You were sober bartending last night right?
Sorta. I remember you crying, ripping rose petals off the flower stem and slowly sprinkling them behind the bar at me and singing softly
Romantic
I wanted to have a threesome but they’re TOO HETERO
Randomize
