In honor of tonight, my penis will make an appearance
all i remember thinking as i was puking my intestines out is : wow.. this toilet does look like it's from the future.
So I've only had a mustache for about 5 minutes and I'm already pretty sure it's the best decision I've ever made.
I thought his dick was headless. then I pulled back the foreskin.
the bar told me i would have to take an hour break so they could wash the shot glasses
Asking the cop for directions wearing a lion mask may not have been my best moment...
Ice cream: Good. Fraternity: Good. Eating ice cream off a Skid Row bum's ass crack in order to get into a Fraternity: Homoerotic at best. I quit.
You should have seen her, she looked like a skinny Jabba The Hutt
That literally makes no sense
Exactly
Missing both credit cards and just had a flashback of grinding my nuts on the terrified cab driver for amusement. i am feeling a slight hate for myself right now.
Just once I'd like to do blow in a nice bathroom.
You can laugh all you want but 99 grapes is a lot stronger than what you were drinking.
A little, yeah. We were stealing firewood from the neighbors (drunk), and figured it would be 10 times harder to be angry with us if we got caught if we were naked, and 100% more hilarious.
Oh, in response to your "does dating get better" question...I feel like penises are getting smaller nowadays. Its been several years since I saw a good 8+ incher.
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
Told him my main goal was to seduce the man and convince him to leave his wife for me. He didn't argue just asked me to let him know if I succeeded so he didn't waste anymore time not sleeping with the secretary at his office. I have an incredible boyfriend.
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