We walked in and they were fucking to Somewhere Over the Rainbow... I need a new roommate.
How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
Someone took a picture of their balls on my phone last night. BEAUTIFUL PACKAGE. I will find this man.
Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink
While looking for socks, I found my mothers sex toy box. Dear god I finally understand where my kinkiness comes from.
Hell hath no fury like a woman whose gay sidekick you insult
I'll be there in spirit. Right there in your vagina.
I made people serenade her before talking to her and went on a condom run. If I'm going to be in the friend zone, I'm going to be its fucking king.
Cause a man that looks THAT good must have an ass that tastes like lucky charms
Do you think it would be a margarita if you just out tequila in a sonic slush?
Just spent the morning washing Bailey's and Guiness out of my clothes -_-
Oh Jesus our whore days are numbered
Ill try not let guys feel my boobs for free drinks next time, no promises tho. I am my boyfriends worst nightmare.
should i feel bad about fucking you on my front lawn the day before you set me up with your best friend?
Dont you look at me in that tone of voice
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