Farted during a conference call.SBD. permeated the room people were gonna puke.noone could say anything or leave cus we were on the phone with clients. coworkers were outraged.how I still have a job is beyond me.
Holy jesus god. My teeth taste like street.
It's sad how good I am at giving people diseases
never try to heat up a hot pocket in the dryer if ur microwave breaks...bad idea.
WISH UPON A TAMPON
They constantly get farther than me.
tampons.
I think I ordered pizza when I got home. The email said the delivery time was noon today. So if that shit shows up I am the most amazing drunk on the planet.
If i need to get strippers involved i will.
Dude it started out with let's find some food and ended up with me getting a needle in the face
sorry
why?
oh you didn't look in the living room yet, did you?
Yea dude. I'm gonna be the life of the party. THIS BITCH GETS DRUNK BY HERSELF
He got hit with a horseshoe, set on fire, fell out of a tree, and puked all over the side of his car, all before midnight. Everclear.
I just lectured my ex boyfriend on how to eat a girl out what has my life come to
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
SOOOOOO I just attempted to go to the gym, hungover. Ended up throwing up in the bathroom. I hope people think I'm just working out really hard
idk he wanted to trade sex for a triple order of hashbrowns
AND YOU SAID NO?????????
Randomize
