Seriously, let me lead the intervention, my parents did like three with me. I know how it works.
my history teacher totally just suggested that we record his lectures and play drinking games with them later so that we pay attention to the material.
Dudeeeee, i ordered strippers for my party.
I ordered a moonbounce.
Fuck, you win.
so i gave him head in the movie theater last night. thought we were alone til I heard the clapping from the other side of the theater after he'd finished.
Btw, whenever you feel discouraged about your life, think about me being frantically upset bc my mobile porn site limited me to only 5 videos a day
I feel like I knew it was fucked up, but feared that god would take my dick away if I didn't use it last night.
I fucked a guy that's in Sports illustrated. I'm officially ready for college.
Some poor guy found you passed out in a bathroom stall. Again with your dick out. Looks like you got to rage after all.
Im going to be coked out with hello kitty fire arms. Valentines day can suck my dick
How is it medically possible for my urine to smell like espresso
The lady that was sitting beside me thought the best way to cheer herself up was to pet and ruffle my hair while crying and telling me her problems...
Currently having to re-watch episodes of Lost that I've only partially seen because you distracted me with your vagina
He once bought a dildo and put fifty dollars and a happy anniversary note in the battery compartment I gotta lock him down while hes available
I am afraid of asking him for his new number so I continue to text the one that's no longer in service.
Kids music just accidentally came on at this party. I didn't know how many stoners were here until they all sang along.
Randomize
