She said as long as i don't wake her up she doesn't care what hole i use.
Got yourself a keeper right there.
We turned everything surrounding BP and the oil leak into a "that's what she said" drinking game. We've been drunk for a month
Weddings at vineyards should never be allowed to happen. I'm pretty sure I drank every bottle they produced in 2008.
Ok, but If I make this happen, my first born son gets to fuck your first born daughter
Did you seriously take investment advice from our coke dealer?
If i pass out for a while at graduation, please atleast TRY to wake me?
what part of what i said meant "bring a bowl"
"bouncy castle"
The less money I spend on drugs, the happier my mom will be.
Youre the drunk baby that everyone wants to take care of.
So, no matter what happens today, hold on to this. At least you're not naked under your ex husband's trench coat being stopped by the police who also work with your ex husband. Long story. Actually, not a long story. That's it.
We're making a scrapbook of dick pics, you want in or what?
He came and farted at the same time. My life is over.
i can't hookup with him because someone else bit my vagina
You’re about to have a sober threesome with a rando at a Fenway bar?
you woke up this morning in a laundry basket, only wearing rainboots.
Randomize
