just the thought makes me want to clean my vag with a clorox wipe
Dude, I just saw a sixteen year old girl in a catholic school uniform buying a pregnancy test... With a coupon!
Almost accidentally stole a baby... explain later
You were directing traffic around her for 30min after she passed out in the middle of the road.
You really are best friends.
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
I don't know what I should tell you tell you. I don't want to encourage you to dye my dog.
Pulling over on the side of the road to set off fireworks was the worst idea you have ever had. I don't care if it was called a friendship pagoda.
AND OMG I HOPE YOU ARE GREAT WITH CHILD. COOK THAT BUN!
Its like the unofficial aniversary of the loss of her virginity. And I will be giving tours of the spot they did it in and showing how I'm serious when I say the grass doesn't grow there anymore.
There are several different types of life sentences in my purse right now.
Hey, if I can't get it and you're still alive, can you get the glass out of my foot? Happy Sunday.
He somehow pantsed the bouncer and tipped him over before cartwheeling and skipping away? Help me find him.
i cant believe we used adam and eve as a sexting theme last night
Who's the easier target... Bandages on the knees, tramp stamp, or bra showing? Not in the mood to work for it tonight.
You gave your one night stand my number. I told him you left for your sex change an hour ago.
Randomize
