My key broke off while I was turning the key. I can't pull the broken key out. Not only am i locked outside, so is the rest of the building.
We found an eightball on the ground last night. I mean, really, who does that?
just woke up and he was jacking off in the corner.. am i being punked?
so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
just ran into a kid I used to hook up with while wearing his shirt. Only me. I tried to pretend like it wasn't his but it said his name on the back so I wasn't winning that.
He said he wanted to see my room, not my womb. It's a common mistake.
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
I just want you to know that I hid the weed. Once you find another job, I'll tell you where it is. Happy Hunting, bro.
So i just got guilted into doing a tequila shot by a group of guys chanting "USA!" at me.
Let's just say he sent me a picture of his dick and I was more impressed with the collection of video games he had in the background...
I left my coke in the bird nest in the bathroom stall last night but I found it nest and all in my purse I love morning suprises
When a guy invites you to dinner and breakfast the next day it's implied that he's going to make some sweet loving in betwixt correct?
i just realized I haven't been laid all summer. So sad. What a waste of a perfectly good vagina.
last night I mixed vodka in with my protein shake... and you tell me my new years resolution was impossible
My dad accidentally texted me asking if I had weed...
Maybe you should say yes, and you guys can like bond or something...
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