WTF?! TAYLOR SWIFT JUST WON ARTIST OF THE YEAR OVER MICHAEL JACKSON?! WHAT IS THIS WORLD COMING TO?!
The remote chance that I may get a blowjob is about the only reason I have a shower every day.
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
He was really drunk and I dared him to jump the swimming pool on his bike. Sadly he couldn't. Hey did you know a testicle can burst?
I'm not gonna not go for it, she's foreign and pulled a shotglass out of her thong.
There's a bed on the roof. The window behind it is too small for it to go through. I'm impressed.
I almost caused an explosion; It's okay though. because everyone would have died having a good time.
This has been the most pleasant arrest experience I've ever had.
After 13 tally marks I wrote the number 4,000 and made u sign my arm to prove it.
the back of my hand read, "say no to drugs." my palm read, "say yes to shots." when the fuck did I write that?
You know what? I bet HE would do stormtrooper roleplay with me. I'm in.
I would fuck him In a heartbeat, an obese child running up stairs with an irregular heartbeat, heartbeat.
Hey texans ride hard. He should have known what he was in for when I asked to sit on his face. The broken nose was a BADGE he just earned.
She is currently drunk and caressing my professor's face with one hand.
I'm worried because he hasn't removed it.
I'M SO HIGH I FORGOT HOW TO EAT A STRAWBERRY. A FUCKING STRAWBERRY.
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