Pregnant stripper...not hot.
One of my bosses just told me she's having communication problems because mercury is in retrograde this month. I think she's serious.
she called my cock the "semen sword" and then we invented a position called excalibur
Call me at 7:30 and make sure I'm not asleep in this booth at Waffle House.
Brutally Honest is my real middle name, Princess just sounds better.
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but my underwear and it was on backwards and my entire body is too sore to move...
Im glad someone is finally more of a drunken slut than I am.
he told me he expects me to keep the fangs on when i go down on him. presumptuous, yes, but man after my own heart.
At one point in time, he cried and said I didn't appreciate him.
So I pull up to an apartment complex and immediately felt like I was here to get stoned.
This is the most boring acid ever. I feel like a child. But thats okay, I've been a child before, its nothing new.
Send me one of your boob pics as an example. I mean this in the straightest least lesbian way possible.
I knew deleting his texts was a bad idea and I was right. I just used the last time we talked to help me figure out when I had my last period
My hookup from last weekend apparently got arrested today... his roommate just tagged me on facebook asking for bail money.
I'm not drinking for the rest of the week. I need discipline, celery, dick, and a bible.
I finally selected an outfit that says "I'm not easy" but still shows off the tittays.
Randomize