Tell your broad to take a big shot of 'chill the fuck out' and put it on my tab.
just bought a coffee grinder that advertiesed spacious grinding chamber...new nickname for my bedroom?
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
Literally been drinking for 10 hours. Hammered. Roasted chestnuts fell out of my shirt earlier.
googling pictures of Lindsey Lohan so that I know what to wear to court is definitely a low point in my life
The taxi driver was going on about how many drunk chicks want to sleep with him when he drives them home. Not sure if he was bragging or hinting
bro, your right, i shouldn't feel embarrassed about taking shots from a penis-shaped ice sculpture
I mean I sucked his dick at 3 AM... UNDERWATER. I think I have earned a follow back on twitter.
All those movies are bullshit, there is no way to run down a line of parked cars, they`re too far apart. my faces hurts so much right now
it's just not right when you're boyfriend has a nicer ass than you do.
Easy Mac and you are the sexiest things in my life
While having sex, a German accent isn't sexy.
"The More You Know"
Still fucking the ballerina?
She can put her legs behind her head.
Enough said
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
I have post one night stand depression
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