We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
You were sitting at the bus stop holding hands with some Polish girl you just met, who was just as drunk as you were, and you kept trying to light your Kit Kat and smoke it.
I googled what to do, and it said to squeeze the pressure out so people are taking turns sitting on my head. I can't believe I'm allowing this
Please tell me nicole sent the picture of the ejaculating penis to you too, otherwise I'll feel really awkward
He bought me a pink rose and a Plan B. I really like this guy.
Some dude just came up to me and stroked my beard, smiled and left. Shave?
btw im using a cooler as a purse cause i love string cheese
There's no point in calling it Big Titties Tuesday if girls with big tits don't get anything special
So good news, aparently I blacked out and tried to go in the back of the mcdonalds to thank the people for makin my fries
The neighbor just yelled bring me back that big red alien penis.
The girl neighbor.
I walked in and found you petting your fish outside the bowl, you said its fine, you do this all the Time.
i swear i was one second from getting his number and then the shrooms kicked in
Jesus I was next level high last night having a mental epiphany about the state of Virginia
He was the perfect gentleman on our first date. Took me out for candlelit dinner at a fancy restaurant, held open the door, walked me home, and made me cum three times before he got his.
WHAT THE FUCK I JUST PULLED TWO TAMPONS OUT OF MY VAGINA. WHERE DID THE OTHER ONE COME FROM??
....surprise!
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