I like how you formally end text interactions, just turn your phone off or don't respond you pervert
we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
just skyped with my friend to listen in on the people talking shit about me in the library. creepy or strategic?
dude i've broken up a marriage, I think I can handle a simple engagement.
That still doesn't explain why you thought it was a good idea to paint a cow on my guitar
Of all the things I am low enough to do, how could you even doubt if that was one of them?
He put used condom on the handle of the plunger in the bathroom.
You graduated two years ago... You can't keep using spring break as an excuse.
using the campers leftover pizza money at the bar. Definition of great counselors right here.
there are casual beer cans in all of the public trashes, i belong here
I told you I'm not going to the Phillies game until we're tripping balls
Also topless tea is a thing that happens in our apartment. Ready yourself.
The hospital waiting room is starting to become a very familiar place to me.
Dude, you need to come and get her. She's sitting on the bathroom floor making hearts with her menstrual blood. And remind me never to let her do jello shots again
It's official, I'm not staying in tonight
What caused that decision?
You only live once
Randomize
