Well. Nothing came of that. And to think I manscaped and dusted with gold bond.
I just beer bonged. Soco and spite please get on my levvl my hair is in buns
You know its good night when theres makeup smears on the toilet seat
You were throwing up and said, "Whipe my face, I must look presentable at all times."
We waved. But it was a "let's hook up" wave.
Note to self, stop going out with self absorbed bisexuals
I get a nose bleed and my uncle is automatically giving me the "your doing lines off dashboards again aren't you" look
WHY ARE THERE NO BLACK EMOJIS? I CAN NEVER PROPERLY IDENTIFY MYSELF.
He told me he loved me. I didn't know what to say so i just squirted the baby oil at him
I'm excited for you as you venture towards new drug experiences
Knowing that porn stars want to fall in love is the weirdest thing I've found to be beautiful recently. I'm so lonely.
Hillary said in her victory speech "We're gonna come together". I've got a lib-boner.
Why did the sexual harassment class show a clip from frozen?
An old Grimace plushie came to life and gave me a pretty knife. I'm never doing acid again.
I think/hope James is drunk. He's standing in the front lawn loudly declaring "I AM a popsicle!" Over and over....
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